Good news, you don't have Herpies!!

So what's a girl to do when she finds out her husband is a slutty cheater man?  Head directly to her gyno for an STD test.  Do not pass go.  Do not collect $200.

I was a worldly independent woman of the 21st century, so this is not my first STD screening.  As I sat on the exam table in my shirt, unhooked bra, and socks many emotions filled me.  Disbelief, anger, the realization that I was wearing two different socks.  I hate sorting socks.  This was one of the many things that my husband threw at me as to why he was unhappy in our marriage.  I mean, the inability to put laundry away HAS to be above financial problems, right?  What horrendous living conditions this man had to endure.  Fucking other peoples wives should help! It all started to make sense sitting there with my paper gown. My husband randomly, or so I thought, freaking out about having HIV.  When I went to get the blood work done while pregnant with our first born, how he asked which things they were screening for.  How he kept asking if I'd gotten the results.  Well, I guess if I trolled walmarts fucking randoms in my truck, I might be concerned that I have HIV too.  Poor guy.  That must have been tough.

The knock, "You ready happinessafterthebomb?  Yep.  We do the drill, "How are the kids, your mom?"  Weeee, he's a family friend.  So the stirrups are put away, I take a deep breath.  "Um, I need to do blood work and get tested for STDs."  I said it.  Outloud.  Up to this point it had just been rattling around in my head.  My Dr, wide eyed, says "Ok..." and I start to sob.  Guttural sobs, in my unhooked bra, paper gown, and mismatched socks.  He puts his hand on my shoulder, and sighs deeply.  Anger fills his face.  "What are you going to do?"  and the most honest response to this type of situation "I have no idea."  He lead me to his phlebotomist, and whispered something to her.  My sobbing had continued.  She is a kind woman.  In four weeks she will draw my blood to confirm my numbers for my third pregnancy.  She gives my kids pink and blue Band-Aids. Anyway, she preps my arm, and looks in my eyes, "Honey, he's an asshole."  Say hi to my new best friend!!

I walk in the door of my house to, "MOMMY!!!"  Hugs from my babies.  And then HE walks down the hall.  Its quite obvious that I have spent some time sobbing.  "How are you."  I glare, "that was one of the most humiliating things I have ever had to do."  Walks over, hugs me and says "I'm so sorry, baby.  But, they see that all the time..." 

And there it is, right there.  Cheaters think it's normal, common.  Most people cheat, he says.  That night as I lay there, not sleeping as I hadn't in 4 days, staring at my asshat husband sleeping like a baby, I wondered if I had missed the signs.  Oh, they say that "She must have known!!  She ignored her gut!"  Only a year earlier did I have any reason to believe my husband could lie to me.  But this?  Cheating.   The entire marriage?  No.  No, I did not miss anything.  I trusted him.  That's no flaw in me.  I've spent some time over the last eleven months wondering many things.  I've come to this conclusion.  This has no reflection on me.  There were many, many good times.  I was not living a lie.  I was in love, was a great friend, lover, partner and wife.  The last 8 years were what I thought they were, me sharing my life with someone.  Creating my family, and my memories will not be tainted.  It was him who was living the lie. But now I'm in on the secret, so I choose to create a different family. And I will chose much wiser in the future.